WoW! Four months already. I hate that she is growing up so
fast. Every day she does something new and it amazes me. This month has been
the month of milestones. She has rolled completely over, giggles out loud, she
talks up a storm and tells us all about her day. She has started rice cereal
and loves it! We are still playing around with the combinations. At this point
she is eating the cereal twice a day, but still wants to eat every two hours. She
has started this new think where she refuses to sit. We will hold her up to
stand and her little legs start getting shaky so we try to sit her down. She
refuses. She will arch that back and stand back up like she is saying “no, guys
I’m good!” She is holding her own bottle. We barely hold on to it. she will
pull it in and pop it out of her mouth. She
loves her play saucer. she is still a little small for it so we have to put a
blanket around her when she is in the set, but she loves playing with all of
the toys.
I feel like I am torn in my life’s decisions right now. We
had the hardest time trying to figure out day care. We visited the one at
Andrew’s office which was nice, but I cried like a baby when we left. I couldn’t
imagine her in there. Thank God a friend put me in contact with a lady that
runs a daycare out of her home. We went to visit her and love it! She seems so
sweet and keeps an immaculate house. She has converted her dining room into the
play room and has little monkeys painted on the top of walls with each child’s
name beside them. I have prayed that I would feel peace when I walked into the
right place and I felt it there.
I still feel sad about the whole thing. I have always said
that I couldn’t be a stay at home mom, but it breaks my heart to think about
her being raised by another person. Who will be teaching her ABC’s, who will
teach her numbers, who will be hearing her first words or see her walk first. More
than likely not me. It makes me so sad. I feel like I am not spending any
quality time with her either. With us building a house time I get home I speak
to her then we have to run off to do something for the house and then by the
time we are done with that its time to put her to bed. We are blessed enough to
have my dad watch her until she is 6 months so I know she is in good hands and
will learn a lot with him, but I wish it was me.
