Our beautiful daughter is now 6 months old! She is eating at
least one jar of baby food a day, is crawling in full force, has her two bottom teeth (which popped in when she was 5 months and 8 days), loves to laugh, RUN
in her walker, pull on Teddy, reaches out for me and her daddy when others hold
her, and still has everyone wrapped around her cubby little finger. Next month
she starts daycare and I am very torn. I want her to grow up with interaction
with other children. I think it is the best way to have a well-rounded child.
Our parents have been able to watch her for the first 6 months of her life but
now I have the ever growing fears running through my head:
1-
She will learn to say the baby sitters name
before mama or daddy
2-
She will love her more than us
3-
She will bond more with her than us
4-
She will cry when I pick her up vs. cry when I drop
her off
5-
She will not receive the same love and affection
that we, her family, could give her
There are many more, but I am not going to bore you with the
never ending list. I am told that these fears will subside, but I can’t see the
light at the end of the tunnel…yet. I always said that I wanted to write her a
letter for her every year and give them to her on her 18th birthday,
wedding day, or birth of her child. I think I would like to start at this
point. Here is the first letter to my precious angel!
To my beautiful daughter, where to I begin, from the moment
your daddy and I met we knew that we wanted children. Secretly we both wished
for a daughter. After being married for almost 5 years we found out that our
prayers were answered and that we would be expecting a beautiful little girl. We
knew that you would be sweet and precious, we just never realized how much! The
day you were born was the best day of our lives. I can close my eyes and
remember how soft and light you were. I felt like all I was holding was a warm
blanket. I stared at you every minute I had you near me. Even while you slept I
would lean over and sneak a peek. I have always heard how special children are
and how you will love them more than anything in the world. I love you more
than anything in the universe. You are now 6 months old and you have brought
more joy in my life than you could even imagine. Being a working mom is hard, especially
right now. For the first 6 months of your life we have been building the house
you will grow up in. I feel that it has robbed me of precious time I can spend
with you. I pray every day that when I come home you will still light up when
you see me and give me your adorable smile. I pray that you don’t forget my
face or be comforted by the faces of others. That is a selfish thing to say,
but you are my heart and I want to keep you to myself. I can’t wait to get home
every day and hold you in my arms and look at your tiny little hands grab my
hair and get your sweet open mouth kisses. I can’t wait for the chores to be
done so I can spend at least one hour of play time to watch you learn and grown
into this amazing human being. There are not enough hours in the day. It seems
that as soon as our day begins in the blink of an eye it is ending with me
rocking you to sleep. From the beginning I have been one of those mothers that didn’t
mind getting up in the middle of the night. I have viewed those as precious
moments we will have together that I will never get back. Those times are
starting to come to an end. You are now waking up once during the night. Almost
every night I still wake up and just go look at you. Hoping you will wake up so
I can hold you for a few more minutes because I know when the sun rises that
means another work day, more time away from you. I pray that you will always be
healthy and happy and that you will grow up with a wonderful childhood full of love,
laughter, and fond memories. You will never know how much I love you, you are my
angel.
