Six Months

Our beautiful daughter is now 6 months old! She is eating at least one jar of baby food a day, is crawling in full force, has her two bottom teeth (which popped in when she was 5 months and 8 days), loves to laugh, RUN in her walker, pull on Teddy, reaches out for me and her daddy when others hold her, and still has everyone wrapped around her cubby little finger. Next month she starts daycare and I am very torn. I want her to grow up with interaction with other children. I think it is the best way to have a well-rounded child. Our parents have been able to watch her for the first 6 months of her life but now I have the ever growing fears running through my head:

1-      She will learn to say the baby sitters name before mama or daddy

2-      She will love her more than us

3-      She will bond more with her than us

4-      She will cry when I pick her up vs. cry when I drop her off

5-      She will not receive the same love and affection that we, her family, could give her

There are many more, but I am not going to bore you with the never ending list. I am told that these fears will subside, but I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel…yet. I always said that I wanted to write her a letter for her every year and give them to her on her 18^th birthday, wedding day, or birth of her child. I think I would like to start at this point. Here is the first letter to my precious angel!

To my beautiful daughter, where to I begin, from the moment your daddy and I met we knew that we wanted children. Secretly we both wished for a daughter. After being married for almost 5 years we found out that our prayers were answered and that we would be expecting a beautiful little girl. We knew that you would be sweet and precious, we just never realized how much! The day you were born was the best day of our lives. I can close my eyes and remember how soft and light you were. I felt like all I was holding was a warm blanket. I stared at you every minute I had you near me. Even while you slept I would lean over and sneak a peek. I have always heard how special children are and how you will love them more than anything in the world. I love you more than anything in the universe. You are now 6 months old and you have brought more joy in my life than you could even imagine. Being a working mom is hard, especially right now. For the first 6 months of your life we have been building the house you will grow up in. I feel that it has robbed me of precious time I can spend with you. I pray every day that when I come home you will still light up when you see me and give me your adorable smile. I pray that you don’t forget my face or be comforted by the faces of others. That is a selfish thing to say, but you are my heart and I want to keep you to myself. I can’t wait to get home every day and hold you in my arms and look at your tiny little hands grab my hair and get your sweet open mouth kisses. I can’t wait for the chores to be done so I can spend at least one hour of play time to watch you learn and grown into this amazing human being. There are not enough hours in the day. It seems that as soon as our day begins in the blink of an eye it is ending with me rocking you to sleep. From the beginning I have been one of those mothers that didn’t mind getting up in the middle of the night. I have viewed those as precious moments we will have together that I will never get back. Those times are starting to come to an end. You are now waking up once during the night. Almost every night I still wake up and just go look at you. Hoping you will wake up so I can hold you for a few more minutes because I know when the sun rises that means another work day, more time away from you. I pray that you will always be healthy and happy and that you will grow up with a wonderful childhood full of love, laughter, and fond memories. You will never know how much I love you, you are my angel.