Seven Months

This girl has been growing like a weed. She now has 7 teeth! Yes! 7 teeth and will probably have two more by the time I am done with this post. She is crawling all over the place and is even pulling herself up to her feet and stands flat footed. She has been saying mama, but she really doesn’t associate it with me. She will just be playing saying “mamamamamamamama” a few nights ago we were playing and I said “Aria, where’s dada?” She looked right at Andrew and said “dada” like it was nothing. From that moment on she has been saying dada when she looks at him! It blows my mind how fast they learn things and how quickly they grow. She is now eating about 2 jars of baby food a day, puffs, and teething cookies. Once I have a free moment to cook a decent meal we will start her on normal foods.

Daycare is going great! the first day I was a hot mess. I cried the Sunday night when I packed her bag, I cried when I got her dressed, I cried when I was driving her there, I was hysterical when I took her out of the car and then what did she do! She smiled and giggled when the sitter took her. This made it all better for me! I felt complete relief. It has been about two weeks now and every morning when I drop her off she reaches for the sitter with a smile and a giggle. She loves the other children and they love her. I know she will be making great memories while there. 

Ok, let’s be honest. When people tell you that being a parent is hard you think, o sure how hard can it be? Well let me tell you I was wrong! Being a mom is very hard! I am truly blessed to be a mother and to have a child that is good. Who doesn’t cause a fuss or cries at the drop of a hat. I feel horrible for even complaining, but I want it to be known that it is hard work!

Aria was doing so good at night! She would sleep from around 9:00 to 5:00/6:00! Then the teeth…those damn teeth! The first night she was up from 12:30-4:00 crying and being extremely fussy. The next day I took her to the doc and he couldn’t believe it himself. Her whole top row were coming in at once. I mean all the way to her molars! Since that night she has woken up several times in pain. This week in particular has been horrible. I ended up taking her back to the doctor who told me that she was having sinus/allergy issues, but no infection.

In these sleepless nights we have been having I feel like I am the only woman in the world awake as I walk a track in the nursery. We have been in the house 3 weeks and I feel like I am wearing a hole in the new carpet. I find myself feeling extremely frustrated with her. I know that she can’t help that she doesn’t feel good and I know that. I have always said I could never understand how a mother can hurt her child or leave them to cry themselves to sleep, but now that I am experiencing it I can see it. I can see how if you are not a strong enough woman to know what your limit it how you can just snap. When you are exhausted from being at work a 9 hour day then come home, are a housekeeper, wife, and then have to stay up all night being mother you are on the brink of implosion.

The night she was up from sun down to sun up I felt that snap coming! She would go from a whimper, to a cry, to a scream, back to a whimper. This continued for hours on end. I finally got to the point I had to keep sitting her down to take a minute. One time I set her down and she fell back and hit her head on the carpet. I know that it didn’t hurt her and that she was ok, but she let out this horrible scream and became hysterical. I just picked her up and lost it myself. I felt like it was my fault. That I caused her to bump her head. If I was holding her the entire time she wouldn’t have done that. She was already in pain and I just made it worse. I am her mother and I am supposed to make everything better. I sat on the floor with her and rocked back n forth begging her to forgive me! What else could I do! I swore that night that I would hold her as long as I could. I would swallow my frustration and stay up for hours on end with a smile on my face if I could.

Last night was another rough night. I was up from 2:30-4:00 trying everything without losing patience. We played, we bounced, and we rocked and swayed. Nothing helped. I felt that frustration bubbling up to the service again. I went and got Andrew and told him that he had to take over. 30 minutes later he came in and had her asleep. How in the world did that happen! I think it must be true that children can sense frustration and feed off of it. He went in calmly and handled it. I thought to myself last night is it possibly to get post-partum at the 7 month mark? I feel like I am the only woman in the world who feels this way. I feel alone, tired, frustrated, and most of all guilty. I feel guilty for not being able to take this in stride and just rock all night without feeling the exhaustion. I pray that the 8^th month mark will be better.