Ten Months

Aria is 10 months old and I can’t believe it. I can’t believe that in two short months our beautiful daughter will be 1! She has been such a blessing to us. We can’t imagine our life without her. She has brought us so much joy and happiness. Yes, there are times when we are exhausted and frustrated, but not at her, but her situation. I don’t think she will ever know how much we love her.

Now, an update on her milestones, she has eight teeth and is currently working on four more, she isn’t walking on her own yet but is really trying, she still loves to play chase when she is in her walker, she is saying mama, dada, bye, this, and is trying to say Teddy. It kinda sounds like ie lol unfortunately; it is not all fun and games. Poor girl has been sick since September. She started off having that damn HFMD then immediately had an ear infection, then a cold, then and ear infection, she currently has a double ear infection and the doctor said if she gets another one after this round of antibiotics then she will need tubes. That terrifies me. I can’t imagine her having surgery so young. I know thousands of children have the surgery and it is routine, but I have to tell myself that if it will help her then we will have to do it.

I have been having a tough time with the thought of her turning one. when she was first born I didn’t feel that immediate bond and now that I do I feel that I want time to stop so I can make up for those missed first months feelings. I have read article upon article of mothers who feel the same way as I do, but this one was true to my heart.

Dear Mama of a Soon-To-Be 1-Year-Old,

Girl, I feel your pain. I really do. I am in the same boat. That same emotional boat. Are you going through CryFest 2014 like me when you look at newborn photos?

I just want you to know that you aren't alone. I just want to make sure that you know you are normal for feeling this way. Or, maybe I want to know that it's normal to feel this way!

Anyway, you know you are a first-time mama with a soon-to-be 1-year-old when...

1. You look at the clock when it's nearing bedtime and you get excited knowing you will get some rest! The days are exhausting, following your little torpedo of a crawler around or chasing your toddling baby around the house, right? And as soon as they go down, there you are. You sit with your iPhone looking at pictures of said baby, because you miss him or her already.

2. The idea of your kid actually speaking to you is just too much to handle.

3. You stopped calling your baby a newborn just a few months ago.

4. When you walk by the baby section at The Gap and enter the Boy/Girl section, it's emotional. Really emotional.

5. You have to stop yourself from approaching little newborns and stroking their pudgy faces. This behavior is more than OK when you know the baby, but the issue is when you want to do this with EVERY baby you see these days ON THE STREET.

6. If you plan on having more kids, you wonder to yourself how you can love another baby like you love your first. You ask your friends how they do it. Even though everyone says your heart can handle more love, you still aren't sure if you believe that it's possible. You love this kid SO MUCH.

7. When your baby graduates and moves on to a bigger diaper size, you consider holding on to the last one as a memento. You know this is a problem and you are OK with it. It's just a diaper... right?

8. You've Instagrammed and/or Facebooked the hell out of your baby lately and because you don't want to appear too over-the-top, you send additional takes of the same photos to your mommy besties and spouse. People will never know the restraint you have in posting everything you would want to share about your little guy/gal.

9. You bawled your eyes out when you saw this video. Damn you, Pampers Japan! So much that when you go to birthday parties for 1- year-olds, you also hug the parents and say, "Happy first birthday."

10. You are confused as hell on the next stage of feeding and milk offerings that's supposed to happen. You didn't know so many forms of milk existed.

11. You've decided to learn how to approach future tantrums by analyzing the sh*t out of any live preview you can get these days from kids kicking and screaming in restaurants a grocery stores. You wanna play it cool when it happens; you really don't want to lose your sh*t too.

12. For the upcoming birthday, you consider having a full-out Pinterest-inspired party... either that, or stay home, order takeout and hang a banner that says, "We survived the first year." Both options are great, by the way.

13. You have come to accept that you are THAT mom, the mom who over-posts stuff about their kid on social media. You hated that mom before and now, you are her... only worse.

14. You feel guilty about how you spent this year. Whether you were working full-time, working part-time, working from home or staying at home, the guilt just can't go away.

15. You can't help but give advice to new moms. Not because you know better, but because you know that someone threw you a rope when you needed it. You absolutely know that it takes a village to raise children in the world we live in.

16. You think back and (hopefully) laugh on how many times you ate your words about all the things you swore you wouldn't do that you actually do do now. Same goes with how you wouldn't turn into your mother. Oops.

17. You wish you had a deal with Father Time and you would give ANYTHING to freeze these last few days and have them play out in slow motion.

18. You have drowned your hard mommy days with wine. More than you care to talk about.

19. You look at your body and you know its different now, but c'mon, say it with me, "We can grow people!"

20. Still, after all this time, you have to run back into the house whenever you take the baby anywhere because you forgot to pack something. After all this time, you still run late. You have yet to go on a vacation where you didn't have to go to the store for the baby.

21. Two words: baby feet. You're obsessed with your little one's appendages. You can't believe how adorable and yummy they are, am I right?

22. Your memory of your delivery and labor is less traumatizing day after day because the love of this little person made it all worth it.

23. Going to Target, sans baby, is somewhat of a mommy aphrodisiac. It's the same deal when your spouse lets you sleep in while he watches the baby. Who knew?

24. You are thankful for all the moms you know, and proud to be one. You are sorry for the assumptions you had made about motherhood, and know there is so much more word-eating coming at you.

25. You know you'll cry, I mean ugly cry, when "Happy Birthday" is sung at your child's first birthday party.

Good luck to you, mama -- my waterproof mascara and I wish you the most special day!

Nine Months

9 months has been a lot calmer for us. Aria seems to be in a routine now and it makes the house a lot happier all around. She is still crawling or like I like to call it walling kinda a walk/crawl. She wants to walk so bad and can just doesn’t realize that she can yet. We have caught her several times standing without holding onto anything. she has a push walker toy that she loves and want to run when she is using it. we have to hold on to it so she doesn’t run and hurt herself. We had to revert to the crying method a night. it broke my heart to hear her but that was the best thing we could have done. It has helped her at home and at the sitters. Misty said that she takes great naps now. she is still only saying mama, dada, and bye bye, but we here her jabbering away all the time. the newest thing is this derkia derkia kinda sound. She sounds like she is trying to speak Japanese or something.

I feel at peace now. I feel like we are in a good place. We have a good routine going and I pray that it continues. I feel like I have time for me and Andrew again and a little bit of time to clean the house and do chores. I don’t know how long it will last, but I am soaking up every second of it. 

Eight Months

Aria is now eight months and what a month it has been! She is crawling in full force and is now at the stage of pulling up on everything by her and even transitioning from object to object. She still has only 10 teeth. Only 10, I know! You are thinking WOW 10 teeth at 8 months! Yeah, one night we were not fast enough to respond to a cry and she now has teeth marks in her crib! lol I am glad to have a break from the teething though. Mama needs her rest. We have started her on normal foods. She loves fruits and veggies and her fruit puffs. All of these new foods make me nervous which I guess is normal for new moms. I am afraid that she may choke or have a reaction. We are taking it by baby steps. She is saying mama, dada, and bye bye and waves. She started copping us when we make a clicking sound with our tongue and she does the same thing and just laughs. She thinks she is hilarious.

This month has been a month of doctors’ visits. I have taken her to the doctor once a week this month. The first visit was after a night of no sleep and when I say no sleep I mean NONE! We tried to lay her down at 8:00 like normal and it wasn’t happening. She would pop up so I kept that up for about an hour. Needless to say I wasn’t able to put her down all night. She never really went to sleep so I knew something was off. I took her to the doctor the next day and the PA said that everything looked good aside from some drainage and that all we could give her is Motrin and Tylenol due to her age. After a few days of her still being fussy I took her back to the doctor and her normal doctor said that everything looked fine but she must have an infection somewhere so she put her on an antibiotic. Two weeks went by where she was her normal self.

The Monday of the following week the sitter called and said that she had a fever of 102. I ran and picked her up and called the doctor AGAIN to make an appointment. The Sunday before she woke up in the middle of the night with a 99 fever but we assumed it was teething. She was acting fine all day and Monday morning so we took her to daycare. Well by the time her doctors appointment rolled around she was miserable. Time we walked into the office the doctor said “oh no, she has hand foot mouth disease” I had never even heard of it until recently. It seems like 3 or 4 of my friends posted about their kids having it. So of course she said that it is a virus and has to run its course. By Wednesday her arms, legs, face, butt, tootsie, mouth, throat, hands and feet were covered in blisters. I mean covered! I felt horrible. I know there is nothing you can do to prevent it, but she was just so miserable and there is nothing you can do to help. By Thursday she was better and her skin started to settle down.

After all of the HFMD drama guess who caught it next?! Yep mom! I told Andrew that I felt like a baby myself and Aria handled it better than me. I just had it on my hands and feet! Andrew managed to escape it, but my parents were not so lucky. They both are just now getting over there spat with it. We are now trying to get her back to her normal sleeping routine and I pray that she does soon. So far the past 2 or 3 nights have been great! She gets up once during the night but goes right back out. I pray she keeps it up. I can deal with that.

Can't keep the stickers on the shirts anymore ;)

Seven Months

This girl has been growing like a weed. She now has 7 teeth! Yes! 7 teeth and will probably have two more by the time I am done with this post. She is crawling all over the place and is even pulling herself up to her feet and stands flat footed. She has been saying mama, but she really doesn’t associate it with me. She will just be playing saying “mamamamamamamama” a few nights ago we were playing and I said “Aria, where’s dada?” She looked right at Andrew and said “dada” like it was nothing. From that moment on she has been saying dada when she looks at him! It blows my mind how fast they learn things and how quickly they grow. She is now eating about 2 jars of baby food a day, puffs, and teething cookies. Once I have a free moment to cook a decent meal we will start her on normal foods.

Daycare is going great! the first day I was a hot mess. I cried the Sunday night when I packed her bag, I cried when I got her dressed, I cried when I was driving her there, I was hysterical when I took her out of the car and then what did she do! She smiled and giggled when the sitter took her. This made it all better for me! I felt complete relief. It has been about two weeks now and every morning when I drop her off she reaches for the sitter with a smile and a giggle. She loves the other children and they love her. I know she will be making great memories while there. 

Ok, let’s be honest. When people tell you that being a parent is hard you think, o sure how hard can it be? Well let me tell you I was wrong! Being a mom is very hard! I am truly blessed to be a mother and to have a child that is good. Who doesn’t cause a fuss or cries at the drop of a hat. I feel horrible for even complaining, but I want it to be known that it is hard work!

Aria was doing so good at night! She would sleep from around 9:00 to 5:00/6:00! Then the teeth…those damn teeth! The first night she was up from 12:30-4:00 crying and being extremely fussy. The next day I took her to the doc and he couldn’t believe it himself. Her whole top row were coming in at once. I mean all the way to her molars! Since that night she has woken up several times in pain. This week in particular has been horrible. I ended up taking her back to the doctor who told me that she was having sinus/allergy issues, but no infection.

In these sleepless nights we have been having I feel like I am the only woman in the world awake as I walk a track in the nursery. We have been in the house 3 weeks and I feel like I am wearing a hole in the new carpet. I find myself feeling extremely frustrated with her. I know that she can’t help that she doesn’t feel good and I know that. I have always said I could never understand how a mother can hurt her child or leave them to cry themselves to sleep, but now that I am experiencing it I can see it. I can see how if you are not a strong enough woman to know what your limit it how you can just snap. When you are exhausted from being at work a 9 hour day then come home, are a housekeeper, wife, and then have to stay up all night being mother you are on the brink of implosion.

The night she was up from sun down to sun up I felt that snap coming! She would go from a whimper, to a cry, to a scream, back to a whimper. This continued for hours on end. I finally got to the point I had to keep sitting her down to take a minute. One time I set her down and she fell back and hit her head on the carpet. I know that it didn’t hurt her and that she was ok, but she let out this horrible scream and became hysterical. I just picked her up and lost it myself. I felt like it was my fault. That I caused her to bump her head. If I was holding her the entire time she wouldn’t have done that. She was already in pain and I just made it worse. I am her mother and I am supposed to make everything better. I sat on the floor with her and rocked back n forth begging her to forgive me! What else could I do! I swore that night that I would hold her as long as I could. I would swallow my frustration and stay up for hours on end with a smile on my face if I could.

Last night was another rough night. I was up from 2:30-4:00 trying everything without losing patience. We played, we bounced, and we rocked and swayed. Nothing helped. I felt that frustration bubbling up to the service again. I went and got Andrew and told him that he had to take over. 30 minutes later he came in and had her asleep. How in the world did that happen! I think it must be true that children can sense frustration and feed off of it. He went in calmly and handled it. I thought to myself last night is it possibly to get post-partum at the 7 month mark? I feel like I am the only woman in the world who feels this way. I feel alone, tired, frustrated, and most of all guilty. I feel guilty for not being able to take this in stride and just rock all night without feeling the exhaustion. I pray that the 8^th month mark will be better.  

Six Months

Our beautiful daughter is now 6 months old! She is eating at least one jar of baby food a day, is crawling in full force, has her two bottom teeth (which popped in when she was 5 months and 8 days), loves to laugh, RUN in her walker, pull on Teddy, reaches out for me and her daddy when others hold her, and still has everyone wrapped around her cubby little finger. Next month she starts daycare and I am very torn. I want her to grow up with interaction with other children. I think it is the best way to have a well-rounded child. Our parents have been able to watch her for the first 6 months of her life but now I have the ever growing fears running through my head:

1-      She will learn to say the baby sitters name before mama or daddy

2-      She will love her more than us

3-      She will bond more with her than us

4-      She will cry when I pick her up vs. cry when I drop her off

5-      She will not receive the same love and affection that we, her family, could give her

There are many more, but I am not going to bore you with the never ending list. I am told that these fears will subside, but I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel…yet. I always said that I wanted to write her a letter for her every year and give them to her on her 18^th birthday, wedding day, or birth of her child. I think I would like to start at this point. Here is the first letter to my precious angel!

To my beautiful daughter, where to I begin, from the moment your daddy and I met we knew that we wanted children. Secretly we both wished for a daughter. After being married for almost 5 years we found out that our prayers were answered and that we would be expecting a beautiful little girl. We knew that you would be sweet and precious, we just never realized how much! The day you were born was the best day of our lives. I can close my eyes and remember how soft and light you were. I felt like all I was holding was a warm blanket. I stared at you every minute I had you near me. Even while you slept I would lean over and sneak a peek. I have always heard how special children are and how you will love them more than anything in the world. I love you more than anything in the universe. You are now 6 months old and you have brought more joy in my life than you could even imagine. Being a working mom is hard, especially right now. For the first 6 months of your life we have been building the house you will grow up in. I feel that it has robbed me of precious time I can spend with you. I pray every day that when I come home you will still light up when you see me and give me your adorable smile. I pray that you don’t forget my face or be comforted by the faces of others. That is a selfish thing to say, but you are my heart and I want to keep you to myself. I can’t wait to get home every day and hold you in my arms and look at your tiny little hands grab my hair and get your sweet open mouth kisses. I can’t wait for the chores to be done so I can spend at least one hour of play time to watch you learn and grown into this amazing human being. There are not enough hours in the day. It seems that as soon as our day begins in the blink of an eye it is ending with me rocking you to sleep. From the beginning I have been one of those mothers that didn’t mind getting up in the middle of the night. I have viewed those as precious moments we will have together that I will never get back. Those times are starting to come to an end. You are now waking up once during the night. Almost every night I still wake up and just go look at you. Hoping you will wake up so I can hold you for a few more minutes because I know when the sun rises that means another work day, more time away from you. I pray that you will always be healthy and happy and that you will grow up with a wonderful childhood full of love, laughter, and fond memories. You will never know how much I love you, you are my angel.  

Five Months

Five months has come and gone before the blink of an eye. When I stop and think about it I can’t help but get a little sad that my daughter will be six months old in just a few weeks! At five months she has changed so much. She has started to giggle which is one of the best sounds in the world in my opinion. She thinks her daddy is really funny especially when he makes farting noises. She is her father’s daughter! lol She was doing really good at night and sleeping a good 6 to 7 hours. This month she is back to her routine of getting up at 3:00 then 6:00. I can’t complain because at least she isn’t getting up every two hours. 

She is on baby food and loves it. She eats about a full jar every day. She loves all veggies even the beans. She rolls all over the place and the night time rolling scares me. I don’t like that she finds it more comfortable on her stomach. Everyone and everywhere I have read say to not let them sleep on their stomach for the first year, but how are you supposed to prevent it. Every time we notice we flip her and she will go right back. It is an endless battle. She is starting to walk in her walker and really wants to crawl. She has the bounce down, just doesn’t realize that she has to move her arms in order to crawl.

Unfortunately, with us still living with my parents she now sleeps in her nursery which also is my mom’s sleeping quarters. She out grew her bassinet last month and needed to move to her crib. I miss her so much during the night. I am one of those strange women who miss getting up in the middle of the night to feed her. That was our time. I am more than ready to be in our own house so I can set up a real nursery and get into a good routine. Her schedule is kind all over the place right now. I hope that once we are home and can get organized her sleeping and eating will go a lot better. 

Four Months

WoW! Four months already. I hate that she is growing up so fast. Every day she does something new and it amazes me. This month has been the month of milestones. She has rolled completely over, giggles out loud, she talks up a storm and tells us all about her day. She has started rice cereal and loves it! We are still playing around with the combinations. At this point she is eating the cereal twice a day, but still wants to eat every two hours. She has started this new think where she refuses to sit. We will hold her up to stand and her little legs start getting shaky so we try to sit her down. She refuses. She will arch that back and stand back up like she is saying “no, guys I’m good!” She is holding her own bottle. We barely hold on to it. she will pull it in and pop it out of her mouth.  She loves her play saucer. she is still a little small for it so we have to put a blanket around her when she is in the set, but she loves playing with all of the toys.

I feel like I am torn in my life’s decisions right now. We had the hardest time trying to figure out day care. We visited the one at Andrew’s office which was nice, but I cried like a baby when we left. I couldn’t imagine her in there. Thank God a friend put me in contact with a lady that runs a daycare out of her home. We went to visit her and love it! She seems so sweet and keeps an immaculate house. She has converted her dining room into the play room and has little monkeys painted on the top of walls with each child’s name beside them. I have prayed that I would feel peace when I walked into the right place and I felt it there.

I still feel sad about the whole thing. I have always said that I couldn’t be a stay at home mom, but it breaks my heart to think about her being raised by another person. Who will be teaching her ABC’s, who will teach her numbers, who will be hearing her first words or see her walk first. More than likely not me. It makes me so sad. I feel like I am not spending any quality time with her either. With us building a house time I get home I speak to her then we have to run off to do something for the house and then by the time we are done with that its time to put her to bed. We are blessed enough to have my dad watch her until she is 6 months so I know she is in good hands and will learn a lot with him, but I wish it was me.

 

Three Months

WOW! I can’t believe it has been three months of pure joy with our angel. She has brought everyone so much happiness. She is the light of our lives. She is such a wonderful baby. I am sure most people say that about their child, but even other people tell us how wonderful she is. Within the last four weeks she has grown such a personality. She is the happiest baby I have ever met. She never meets a stranger. She smiles at everyone and talks to everyone. She has been talking up a storm. She will tell us all about her day. We ask her “so what did you do today?” she will just coo and grunt and tell us everything that happened. She is up to 5 ounces although she still eats every two hours. She is still sleeping through the night. She goes to bed between 8:30-9:00 and wakes up around 6:30. The new thing with her though it fighting sleep. Her little eyes get so heavy and she will just cry and moan with exhausting. I go to our rocker and do a rock, bounce, hum, pat combo and tell her that she isn’t missing anything. After about 20 minutes she is out. She is holding her head up and actually enjoying her tummy time now. Thank goodness. I don’t feel like I am torturing her anymore.

I still have long periods. I feel like I am on my period longer than I am off of it. I started my birth control 14 weeks ago so I am waiting to still get regular. Every now and then when I hold her I have a contraction. That is the only time I feel it. A woman’s’ body is amazing.

At her 2 month appointment the doctor told us that she had torticollis and plagiocephaly (turned neck and flat head) when she said that I just looked at her. I mean really. All we have heard since Aria was born was how pretty her head is. I never noticed her head leaning to one side either, but what do we know, we are not experts. So the doctor assigned a physical therapist to come to the house to evaluate her and start her on PT. Well the first lady came out to do paper work and she said “I have done this for 21 years and your daughter is perfectly fine.” The next lady came out to do a developmental evaluation she said “she is actually developmentally ahead of her age and I don’t think she has torticollis or plagiocephaly” the third lady came out to do the PT evaluation and she confirmed “there is nothing wrong with this child” she actually told me that she had seen three other babies that week that the same doctor said had toticollis. She said she must have gotten burned by a past patient or something. Needless to say our baby is perfect and didn’t need one minute of PT. J ladies, trust your instinct.

 

 

 

Two Months

Aria has grown so much within a months’ time. She amazes me every day at how smart she is and how fast she learns things. At her 7 week mark we noticed her pulling at her ears and sucking on her hand which she has never done. When she started being a little fussy I thought what the hay let me see if she is teething. Well low and behold she is! Her left canine tooth is poking right through and has a sharp little tip! I couldn’t believe it. Andrew and I went to the store to get her some teething toys and her favorite by far is a cloth paci that you can put ice in. We have to hold it in her mouth because she hasn’t quite grasped that concept. At 8 weeks she started going 4 hours in between feedings at night and one night she went from 9:30-6:30!! I felt so rested. Of course that only lasted one night because the next night she was back at the every 4 hour mark, which is still better than every 2 hours! This week she also learned how to make her music toy play. I was holding her one night and I told her “you push the button” and took her little hand and pushed the play button. After that one time she managed to push it by herself at least 10 times. She hovers that little hand over the button until her hand hits it. She will get so aggravated when she doesn’t push it fast enough. I am starting to come to the realization that I am someone’s mother! Up until this point I haven’t felt much of a connection. I felt that she had connected to everyone but me. She has given everyone a true grin except me and I was the one who had spent most of the time with her. Finally she gave me a smile and I instantly felt that connection. Ever since that first grin she smiles at me every time she sees me and it just melts my heart.

One Month

Today marks one month since God brought baby girl into our lives! She is such a blessing and we love every moment with her. She is such a wonderful baby and makes life easy for us. I wanted to take the time to write what I have learned about Aria and myself in this one month period.

Like I said Aria is a wonderful baby. From day one she has not been much of a fusser. She sleeps pretty much all day and wakes up every two hours on the dot to eat. She is up to 4 oz a feeding and will drink every drop. After her meal we change her and she is back to sleep no problem. She normally spends about two straight hours up and alert at some point during the day. Sometimes she spends more than that awake. She will just sit there looking around and taking it all in. we swear she is trying to talk already too. She will just coo and grunt when we talk to her. We have never been around babies much so bringing her home was a scary moment for us. We weren’t sure what to do or what to expect with a newborn. What have we learned? Babies take up a lot of your time. You spend every waking moment doing something baby. Either feedings or changing diapers, talking and playing, or preparing for the next round while they nap. We were told all along that we would need a lot of diapers…well that is the truth. She seems to be going through at least 13 diapers a day. We have learned that gas drops are a life saver. I really didn’t want to get in the habit of using any type of medicine on her, but one night she would not settle so we gave the drops a try and it was like magic!

Now, what I have felt during this month? Complete love for the most part! Right after we got home with her I had my moments of crying. I was sore from the birth and tired emotionally from the fact that we had an earthquake the day we brought her home and the realization that I would not be able to breastfeed. From the beginning I wanted to breastfeed. I wanted her to get the best nutrition she could get and I also wanted to make our bond as strong as possible. I breastfeed her in the hospital and once we got home with the help of a pump. At the two week mark I noticed my milk starting to slow down then it stopped all together. I was so disappointed, I felt like a failure. When we took her to the doctor to check on her jaundice the doctor said that we would need to put her on a formula supplement anyway to help get rid of it. It would jumpstart her liver. So that made me feels a little better.  I was also so sore from the birth. The only thing that hurt was the pull of the stitches. After two weeks I started itching, I don’t know what was worse. Here I am at the 4 week mark and I can FINALLY take a tub bath and I can’t wait! I have almost no itching or pulling and I have stopped bleeding! I felt like I was getting diaper rash myself.

Within a month I have never felt so much love in my life! I love my baby girl more than I can explain. Every time I look at her pretty little face I smile. She lights up my life in a way I didn’t know was possible. I stare at her constantly thinking to myself how precious life is and I am amazed at what we created! I feel so I have also felt even more in love with Andrew. He is a wonderful father. He helps me with everything morning and night with a smile on his face! After giving birth and experiencing this feeling I can honestly say that if I found out I was pregnant tomorrow I would be ok with it :0)

Happy Birthday!

After the weekend of my 39 weeks had passed I was ready to be induced! I called first thing Monday morning when the office opened and asked about being scheduled for an induction. Emily, Dr. Bartley’s nurse, called me back and said that I had been scheduled for Wednesday morning at 6:30 a.m. I just giggled. I was so excited and a little nervous. I really didn’t want to be induced, because I have heard how hard it can make labor and I wanted Aria to come on her own. After I got off the phone I called everyone to let them know that we would be having a baby come Thursday morning! I then realized that we had planned to go to the hospital on the worse day possible. Augusta was forecasted to receive one of the biggest winter/ice storms in our history. After I thought of that I called the office back to see if I could reschedule the induction date. They told me no, because it takes so much coordination that it is hard to move the dates and it could be into next week if we tried to change it. I told them that that was fine and we would keep Wednesday. The next thing I knew Dr. Bartley called me directly and said that there was an opening for Thursday and asked if wanted to move it and I said yes. I told everyone at work that I was going to go ahead and start my maternity leave so I would have a few days of rest before I went to the hospital. So Tuesday I slept all day and tried to be lazy as possible. That night I told Andrew that I wanted to eat light for every meal up to Thursday. So that night we had Wendy’s and all I ate were nuggets. We went to bed around 11:00 that night. At 3:08 a.m. I was woken up by a pretty bad menstrual cramp. I laid there about 5 minutes to see if I cramped up again. Once I felt it again I went to the bathroom thinking I just had to pass a blood clot or something. I went to the bathroom and kept having cramps. I went back to bed and laid there awake for about 10 minutes. I noticed that I would cramp up every 2 minutes and the cramp would last about 10-12 seconds. I went back to the bathroom and “went to the bathroom.” When I wiped I noticed that I had some blood. I went back to bed and leaned over to Andrew and said “baby I think I am having contractions.” He sat up and said ok, let’s time them. I told him that I had been timing them and they were all over the place. At this point it was 3:45. I called the hospital to ask about the random bleeding and she told me that they like for us to wait until the contractions are 5 minutes apart for 2 hours. Once I got off the phone I told Andrew that I wanted to go ahead and go in since I was bleeding. I wanted to just be safe. We loaded up the car and headed out.

By the time we got to the hospital triage I was at 4 cm and started having contractions 4 minutes apart. They told us that they were 90% sure that they would keep me and not send us home. I told the nurse that I was just happy that I wasn’t losing my mind and that I was actually in labor! They took me to my labor room and gave me my IV at 7:00. They asked me if I wanted an epidural and I said yes. Looking back I probably could have gone a little longer without it, but I didn’t want to wait until I was in so much pain that I would have to wait hours for the anesthesiologist to show up. I told them to go ahead and line me up for one. By 9:00 the anesthesiologist came in and gave me my epidural. By 9:30 I was completely numb from my belly button down. They gave me the lowest dose of Pitocin and broke my water by 10:00. At 11:00 they checked me again and I was at 8 cm!!! I couldn’t believe it! She said that she would be back in about an hour to check me again. At 12:30 she came in and checked and I was at 10!!!!!! She looked at our parents and said “ok, grandparents, time for yall to leave!” Everyone just laughed and clapped and I started crying! The nurse left to get things ready and to call Dr. Bartley. With it just being me and Andrew we had our last moments together just as a family of 2 (3 with Teddy :)) I told him that I was scared, because all I wanted was a healthy baby. He told me not to worry that God would bless us with a perfect baby and that I had done so good taking care of myself that there was no reason to worry. The nurse came back in and she held one leg and Andrew held the other. I started pushing and after 3 or 4 pushes she said ok, let me go get Dr. Bartley. Dr. Bartley came in with another nurse and I was so relieved to see her. Because of the ice storm we weren’t sure if I would have to use on call doctor to deliver. Dr. Bartley said that a little ice wouldn’t keep her away! I love her!! I started pushing again and they kept saying that she was stuck on my pubic bone. With every push I gave it all I had because I refused to be the reason they would have to use forceps or a suction to get her out. They ended up draining my bladder and having to push my stomach to get her past my bone. Next thing I knew they pulled her out! I started bawling!! My baby was here! I never knew I would love someone so much in my life! I looked at Andrew and feel even more in love with him. He was so proud and had been such a huge help during my labor. Once Andrew cut her cord they laid her on my chest and she just looked at me. I was hooked! I didn’t want them to take her away ever. While they were delivering my placenta they took her and bathed her and took her stats. Healthy baby girl 7 lbs. 11 oz. 20 3/4 inches long born February 12th at 2:06 p.m! I couldn’t believe that she had weighted that much. The whole time I just knew that I would have 6 pounder. I was taken to my post-partum room and we called in the grandparents. They were so excited to see her and fell in love like we did. After they left Andrew got to have skin to skin time with her too. While he was holding her I got this feeling of complete happiness. I have never felt so happy in my life. I am so thankful to have a wonderful husband who gave me the most precious beautiful healthy daughter. We are truly blessed!

39 Weeks

At my 39 week appointment I was hoping that I would have dilated to 4cm since I had been progressing each week. Before we started the exam I asked her about stripping my membranes and what her opinion is on that. She told me that she could do it at this exam since I am pretty much at my due date and it would take about 30 seconds. She said sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. I told her that we would see how much I have dilated then we will decide. She did my exam and said that I was at 3.5cm (which, is still an improvement) she said “ok, you want me to do it?” I said sure! It didn’t hurt as much as it was just tender. It isn’t much worse than the exam itself. It didn’t take long either. After that she said that we would make another appointment for the next week and check on all of the baby’s vitals. She will check her heart, positioning, and water level in the bag. If everything looks good then I will just keep on trucking and won’t have to be induced. Once I left the office I started having the menstrual cramping again. It keep getting worse as I got home. Andrew went and got us subs and we had an early dinner just in case we had to run to the hospital. After about 3 hours the cramping stopped all together. We went to sleep about 9:00 and I said a little prayer that I would wake up in the middle of the night in labor. When I woke up this morning to the alarm I was so disappointed. We went ahead and got ready for work this morning and I have noticed that I am having the menstrual cramping again so I have been writing it down just in case it turns into something else. I kinda figure why bother. Compared to the cramping I had last night I know this isn’t anything. I am praying that she will come this weekend. I will do anything to keep from being induced. I want her to come out on her own.

38 Weeks

The countdown continues. Everyone around me have been telling me that I wouldn’t make it to 39 weeks by the way I look. I think I have been taking those comments to heart. At my weekly appointment she started my exam and said “oh wow! She is low! She said her head is right there and you are at 3 CM” I couldn’t help but get excited. I thought to myself “maybe she will come this weekend!” So over the weekend I tried all of the home remedies; walking (a little), spicy food, sex…nothing has changed. I am starting to have a hard time sleeping. She is pressing down so much that I just feel a burning sensation almost every night right when I am trying to get to sleep, I have to get up at least twice a night to pee, and she likes to practice rolling over when it’s time to sleep. I am so ready to meet her and I know that a lot of first time mothers deliver past their due date, so I have a while to go still. Dr. Bartley told me that I can keep coming every week or I can schedule an induction whenever I want. She said that she doesn’t like to do them, but it is always the patients’ choice. I am just going to try to be patient and just go with the flow.

37 weeks

At my 37 week appointment Andrew was able to go with me. We ended up having to wait a little longer than normal, I think she was delivering a baby. That is ok, we always enjoy people watching while at the doctor’s office. Once we got back there Dr. Bartley walked right in and checked me and said I was at 2 cm! She said “ok, I will see you next Thursday unless I see you sooner!” I just smiled! I tried not to get excited, but you can’t help it when a doctor says something like that. I am now getting excited to meet her. I am ready to see who she looks like, make sure she is healthy, hold her, kiss her! I am just ready!

36 weeks

At 36 weeks I am starting to feel anxious. I am still excited, but I am starting to have dreams of labor and delivery and I wake up in a panic! I remember when I first met Dr. Bartley and she told me she would see me every month and then at the very end once a week. I thought, oh that is so far away! Well I started my weekly visits this week and all I could think of was “am I really to that point that I could have her any minute now?” She started my exam and tested me for strep to see if I would need antibiotics during delivery and then she checked me to see if I was dilated. I was already 1.5 cm! I couldn’t believe it. she told me that it didn’t mean anything and to not get excited, but I at least I am doing something right! I also had two wonderful showers this weekend. Friday my co-workers gave me a shower and I got lots of goodies, then Saturday my best friends gave me a shower and it was wonderful! They went all out for me and I was so excited! They made it Minnie Mouse themed and had the cutest cake, yummy food, and I had probably 10 ladies show up. The girls did so much for me and I couldn’t appreciate it more!

35 Weeks!

I’m 35 weeks this week and I just can’t believe how fast this has gone by! We have our hospital bag packed and all of Aria’s clothes and blankets washed. All we need is her! I still find it hard to believe that I have a new life inside of me! I can’t wait to meet our baby girl  On a side note, I have started to feel new things. The newest thing is acid reflux. I am surprised that I haven’t had it the whole pregnancy due to the fact that I have GERD (gastro esophageal reflux disease). It has happened three times already that acid will just come up and it taste like I have thrown up in my mouth! It is disgusting! Last night I had reflux so bad that I had to sleep sitting up. Hopefully this reflux will start to subside a little, I want to at least be able to sleep good!